REGISTRATION FOR PAINE TO PAIN IS NOW OPEN!!!
RACE DATE IS SEPTEMBER 25!!!
I CAN’T STOP USING EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!
Last year we had 700 runners tearing ass through our necklace of woods like Wile E. Coyote chasing the Road Runner, and then fed you bagels and lox at the finish line! And other awesome food! And free photos! And a shirt! And a cool spinner medal! And even a free one mile race for your kids!!!
And the price on opening day? JUST FIFTY BUCKS!!! Yes, just $50! Some races will charge you $30 just for a picture, but you get the whole shebang here for $50!
(DISCLAIMER: For those of you with English as a second language, “shebang” does not reference any weird sex thing after the race. For that, you’re on your own.)
Is NewRo Runners an awesome race club, or what!?!
With that in mind, three pieces of news!!!
1. Registration is now open! For one of the great trail races not just in this area, but in the whole country! About 90% of this course is in the cool shade of the trees, just four short train stops from midtown Manhattan!
Is the race any damn good? In my completely unbiased opinion as race founder/director/grand poobah, it’s an even better run than Pam Anderson in slow motion on Baywatch. Yes, it’s that good! Even Mrs. Poobah agrees!
Or read the two-page spread on the race in Trail Runner Magazine. Uh, huh. That’s right. National press, baby. We baaad!
2. Our trails received a whopping $800,000 upgrade from Westchester County Parks last year and what happened as a result? They’re now in the best condition they’ve ever been! Since the beginning of time! Because the more they get used, the more local governments say, “Holy crap! That looks like a great resource we got here! Let’s make sure we keep it that way!”
3. Did I mention that registration is now open? It’s still just $50 from now until the end of May! Will you get your money’s worth? Please. Stop reading this moronic email and ask a friend what the race is like, unless you’ve already run it, in which case you should be telling friends about it! Word of mouth is all we got!!
September 25th! Gunshot at 9 am! Don’t screw this up!!!
Weenies can stay at home! Oh God, I’m so verklempt I’ve run out of exclamation marks!!!
Can I get a Hallelujah?