Waiver and Disclaimer
Most legal waivers suck. Ours doesn’t.
You might get hurt. Because this trail has plenty of rocks, roots, stumps and other tripping hazards. There are stream crossings with stepping-stones. The trail is often narrow and could be crowded. (Getting excited yet?)
A faster runner might, therefore, knock you to the side, causing you to slam headfirst into a tree, or be impaled on a jagged root. There might be poison ivy, ticks, bugs, wasps, flying monkeys, and other woodsy things you find in the great outdoors. (Is this a great waiver, or what?)
Wind and rain may create mud holes, fell trees and limbs, and create hazards that race officials don’t even know about. Even if we detect a hazard, don’t expect us to warn you. You’re on your own.
Vandals may swipe trail markings. You could veer off course and run straight into a horse’s ass for all we know. Said horsies have the right of way. Race officials may deliberately create extra hazards. Just for fun. (Don’t worry, this gets better.)
There are a number of wooden catwalks, whose condition varies with their age and the weather. Those boards may be damaged in storms, or jarred loose by other runners. Even in good weather, they will be slippery from the morning dew. Your expensive running shoes will not save you. So go slow on the catwalks - you’ll have many miles to run faster and pass each other afterward.
There are only three water stops, and no food. Carry stuff if you like. Or not. We will not baby you. But if you get dehydrated, it could be months before we find your pile of vulture-picked bones. (Ever had so much fun reading a disclaimer?)
There are road crossings. They might have police coverage. Or they might not.
But even though you might get hurt or lost, you agree anyway because you want to run this race. You are, therefore, releasing and discharging all race officials, volunteers, sponsors, municipalities, school districts, flying monkeys, and anyone else that you — or your creative lawyer — can possibly imagine for any conceivable way you might get hurt. Because you know that trail running is a high-risk activity.
And if you didn’t previously know that trail running was a high-risk activity, you sure as hell know that now.
When you agree to run, you certify you are physically fit, responsible for your own actions, and have sufficiently trained for this event. In other words, you won’t sue any of the people or groups responsible for this race if you get hurt or suffer illness (such as COVID). And if you’re under 18, then your parent or guardian is signing this release.
We’re almost done. This is the important part. This trail has known knowns; there are things we know that we know. There are also known unknowns; that is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – there are things we do not know that we do not know.
You’re accepting all these risks — known and unknown. And you’re agreeing to this even though it’s written in plain English, instead of mind-numbing and unintelligible legalese.
